The Future of Conveyancing: Say It Ain't So!

Mr Poor and Miss Unfortunate, are looking to buy their dream home in Yate (other towns villages and cities are available)
First time buyers, Mr. Poor and Miss Unfortunate had been enticed by the Punter Procurement department of the Inter Galactic Estate to provide Conveyancing services on their dream home, from their sister company in Timbukthree.
The poor unfortunate first time buyers were originally assured by Tulisa the Estate Agency’s 18 year old highly experienced sales coordinator that there would be no delays in getting them into their dream home.
“The Future of Conveyancing”
Their chosen Conveyancers were the future of conveyancing.
Mr Poor and Miss Unfortunate were assured by Tulisa that their Conveyancers had passed rigorous quality control audits and were solely appointed on the basis that they paid the highest referrals fees to Inter Galactic Estate Agents to get the most work.
Tulisa proudly announced that it was her job to hound the Conveyancers mercilessly, including mild flagellation. Tulisa was particularly excited by that prospect as she had recently read about such antics from a best selling trilogy she bought in Tesco and was keen to experiment.
Tick Box Tulisa
Furthermore, Tulisa would make doubly sure -and she meant that literally — that the Conveyancers would answer every single question on her tick box at least twice. Tulisa admitted she hadn’t a clue what the questions meant, but hey –  don’t shoot the messenger.
Imagine the sheer look of horror on the faces of Mr. Poor and Miss Unfortunate when they heard from Tulisa in the first of a series 1on1 Interfaces that there they could not move into their dream home after all.
As Tulisa informed them, she had just had a three way conference call with Dirk Dagger Acting Head Designate of Global Conveyancing and Ms Eve Drops, their Monitoring Director and there was bad news.
Bad News
The bad news that Tulisa had to impart was that the Water and Drainage Search had revealed that their dream home was not on a route of main trains. More worryingly, their dream home did not have a “right to life”.
Obviously, Mr Poor and Miss Unfortunate were distraught and turned to their friends for help. One of their friends recommended Clox Cutton a quality firm of Conveyancing Solicitors in neighbouring Sodding Chipbury.
Initially there were a bit nervous contacting Clox Cutton as they had already been on their website and read loads of great articles about Conveyancing in an easy to digest style and jargon free way. Indeed, they had actually downloaded a free 112 page book on buying and selling your home and the Conveyancing process. And that’s not to mention all the great testimonials they had read. Frankly, they were embarrassed.
Today's Conveyancer